The Other Side

86-year-old Helen Domeny is nearing the end of her life.  Parkinson’s Disease has left her weak and she spends much of her day in a sort of semi-conscious state, sleeping or maybe something else.

“It is so real to her that if you tell her it’s a dream, she’s going to tell you it’s not,” says Judy Domeny, about her mother’s otherworldly experiences.

Helen talks openly about visits to places and visits with a person she knew in years past.

“My Dad visits her sometimes and my Dad died three years ago,” Judy says.

St. John’s Hospice Chaplain Ellen Mitchell is retired now, but still visits patients from time to time. During the course of her carer she’s heard hundreds of them talk about their experiences moving from life to death.

The accounts are strikingly similar.  Some talk of friends, others talk of family members.  Some describe angels in detail, others describe the beauty in Jesus’ eyes.

“I’m so glad you got to see him at Christmas,” Ellen says of Helen’s most recent visit with her husband of 53 years, John.  “The two angels were with him?”

“Yes,” Helen answers with a smile.

Ellen Mitchell first appeared on KOLR in a 2007 series on hospice.  During that time, cancer patient Jeane St. Clair would lose consciousness to the point that family members couldn’t wake rouse her.  When she would wake up, she would talk about conversations with her late father.

“Did he look like you remember?” I (Joy Robertson) asked Jean.  “Oh yeah, exactly,” she answered.

She went on to talk about how comforting it was to see him, and know they’d soon be together again.

Over the years Ellen’s patients have comforted her with one consistent claim, that when it’s your time to die, you don’t leave this world alone.  Someone comes to get you, a friend, an angel and maybe Jesus himself.

“I hear about bright lights occasionally, but not much,” Ellen says.  “Most of my patients tell me about peace, about a deep feeling of relaxation and peace.”

Ellen Mitchell was so intrigued by the her patient’s stories of the world beyond, she recounts several of them in her new book, ‘Hospice Stories – A Message of Hope. ‘

One chapter details the passing of Barbara Morgan’s husband, Von.  Ellen ministered to both Von and Barbara’s mother during their last days, and Barbara says the experience was pleasant for everyone involved.

“She would just quietly come and take their hand and put her arm around their shoulder and you just knew it was going to be okay,” Barbara says of Ellen’s visits.

Von Morgan, a musician, would regain consciousness and play music he claimed he’d heard Heaven.  But one day Ellen sensed Von longed for something than a melody.

“She asked me if I’d given Von my permission to go.  I said I guess I haven’t,” Barbara says.  “So I went to his bed and I said, ‘Honey, it’s okay for you to go to Heaven and be with the Lord,’ and he just blew me two kisses and in two hours he was gone.”

“At that moment when they cross from one life to the other, it is a beautiful, peaceful thing,” Ellen says.  “And the expression on their face is just wonderful.”

She adds that many of her patients who’ve recounted these visits with deceased friends and family members seem to relax more as the end draws near.  She understands that some people think it’s only a dream, but that whatever it is it tends to give comfort to patients.

Judy Domeny agrees.  “It makes me feel good and if it comforts her, excellent.”